comfort.

What do you do when the person you count on to remain strong all the time falls apart? What do you do when someone you love, whose always there for you when you're at your breaking point, breaks a little and needs you for once? The answer is simple, you do what they did for you, give them a hug, let them cry, and tell them it'll all be okay. Easy right? Normal everyday circumstance.

Wrong.

This person who you happen to trust, to actually care about, and you start being nasty to each other. You say they overreact, They say you never listen to anyone but yourself. You want to get mad, but then, your friend trips, and you realize they're crying. You want to reach out to them, but the friend pushes you away. You walk with them, listening to her cry, feeling your heart tear a little.

You keep walking, and they starts to apologize about crying over something stupid. They start to apologize for letting you see them like this. They start to apologize and cry and trip. This time you catch them. You keep walking, this time with an arm around their waist for support. Finally, they stop walking, and just stand there, looking lonely and sad. They keep apologizing for crying. You explain that you've cried in front of them, and its okay, you know its hard, you tell them you love them. You say comforting things you actually mean. You let them turn themselves and you hold them in a hug while they cry it out.

Other people come to get you, because your friend has to leave. You hug them, and tell them everything will be okay. You help her compose herself. You run them to the car because they're late and their ride almost left without them. After they leave, because you're still worried, you send them a text saying that no matter what you love them and it'll be okay. They reply to your text, which is rare, and the message they send back makes all of this worth it.

You know they're never going to bring this up again, because they hate being "weak". They like to have everything together all the time. But they send you that little message saying how great that was of you, and how, even though so many people are around them, you are the one worth their trust in the end. And that's all there is to it.

Love from hanhan =]

concrete

When I was little and I used to watch TV, or movies, or look at pictures, or read books, or just see a group of people with both male and female beings, I would pair them up, girl/boy couples. I would decide that that's how they would be, and they would fall in love grow up and get married, and that would never change because that's how things were, that what I was taught to believe with all my fairy tales and happily ever afters.

I really kind of wish things and people had this kind if permanent concreteness nowadays, I miss it. A lot . People are together for a day, best friends for an hour, soul mates for a week. Today things just happen, but there is no dedication, no one cares when things get tough, they give up. I'm guilty of this, and so are a lot of other people. It just happens, and suddenly, the concreteness you counted on is gone.

I only bring this up because It's...bothering me. I want things like they were when I was five, when the song Hosanna In the Highest made me think of raisins,and clouds would be great to sleep in, and one day a knight in shining armour would come save me. The days when going into the woods was the most exciting thing because you became a fairy princess, and when you ran around your backyard really fast you were a super hero.

I want things to go back and be simpler. There wasn't a lot of fighting, unless it was with your little brother and his friends, which were being dragons and you had to save your castle. There wasn't drama unless it was on a stage. The saddest part of the day was when your friends went home. The little imaginary world you created for yourself and your friends was the most fantastic and amazing place to be, and it was oh so safe, and concrete. Always changing, but always safely there.

Love from hanhan =]

Love query?

Here's a query. I tend to have a lot of these. And this one is probably not going to be brief, so hear me out, well, read me out actually. ANY WAY. The question of the day is, How do you react when someone you care about does something dumb? Because lately, this happened to me, and I don't quite know what exactly to do. So here are the following options you get to pick from!

1. Do you have to love the person and the thing they did, no matter what it is? 2. Do you love the person for the thing they did? 3. Do you just love the person despite the thing they did? 4.Do you love the person, and love the dumb thing too, because the person did it and you love them, and its part of who they are?

When I was little, my mom never wanted us to call our dog a "bad dog", no matter what he did. When I got a little older, I asked her why that was such a bad thing. She explained that overall, he was a good dog, who just did bad things. So, I started telling my dog that that was a bad thing to do.

I guess the point of my detour is to eliminate a few of the above options as I try to explain my idea of unconditional love. The second option is out, because you shouldn't love people FOR wrongdoings or mistakes alone. The Fourth option feels like its wrong too. I don't think you should have to love thing just because the one you love does it. I don't like smoking, but I love my friend who smokes. Comprehnde?

I think I just answered my own question right there. The answer to this query is number three. You love the person despite the thing. They're separate. Not the same. Smoking is not the friend, the friend is not smoking. I love how things make sense now. Any ways, I've decided what to do. I'm going to love them anyway.

Love from hanhan =]

Rant about something

Last night a bunch of friends and I got to do one of my favourite things ever. Yup. We went to the seminary for Holy Hour/Dodgeball/Chilling. Now, the night would have been perfect if it wasn't for one thing. One of my friends decided it would be funny to be "emo" and say she was so "bipolar", and do the friggen slashings on her arm.

I might be overreacting, and I probably am, but that's NOT funny or cute or even remotely amusing. I also know this girl does NOT do that to herself. And I really wanted to punch her in the face when she did it because I know some people who's lives have been totally messed up by depression and cutting. Its not a laughing business at all, and its very stressful for everyone around them.

So, my dear people, if you are reading this, do me a favor? DON'T make fun of these problems. Nobody makes fun of the fact that you're a stupid insensitive tard do they? No, they don't even though when you make fun of this, it just makes you not only look rude and stupid, but it pisses off and effects people around you who may happen to actually suffer from it. So, watch what you say and grow up.

Rant fin.

Love from hanhan =]