loved. past tense?

"And pray for her soul, and those people who loved her."

When people die, why do we use the past tense of the word love? Because their bodies are in the ground and so we cannot "love" them anymore? Because everything that made them, them, everything you loved is gone, shut out like a light?

People can't just leave like they've never been. A basic law of science says that energy cannot be destroyed or created, but the form can be changed. before you freak out and think I'm saying clearly human beings are reincarnated(I'm not, I don't believe in that), let me explain.

Every life has some effect on someone or on something. Every life has a purpose, even if we don't understand it. Think about it. Also, read the below book! (Warning: not  suggested for younger people, be careful with it as it has some questionable things and language, but absolutely beautiful writing .)


Also, pray for my Great Aunt as she passed away today. And my adopted grandparents, cause they have some hard times. And One of my CCD kid's mothers, she's very sick. Thank you guys, you're amazing.

love from hanhan <3

P.S: Hanhan's trying to write a book. It's going to be a long process, so If i write less on here its not because i don't love you guys <3

Dear head coach:

Kay. Rant time.

If you have no skills with children, why do you run a track program for them? You play favorites and get frustrated easily, and don't listen to anyone besides yourself because clearly you know best of all. Which you don't because you just piss people off and scare them or creep them out. Then if one of your not-favorites does something bad, you punish them. If one of your favorites does something bad, they get away with it, no big deal. A 1st grader hits another one by accident, and since she's not your favorite, or related to a favorite of yours, then she gets penalized. This is completely unfair and biased and a total double standard, and well as just stupid because they're first graders, so don;t go around calling it "physical abuse". I'm not saying its acceptable to hit people at all, but you didn't even call her MOTHER to deal with it. Neither of the parents were notified and thats completely unacceptable. Had I been there coaching(I wasn't because you get mad at us for coming on days that are not our "assigned days") maybe this wouldn't have happened at all, or maybe she would have been swinging her arms anyway. These are little children, not little robots, or adults. And you don't understand them at all. Nor do you care.


Peace out,
hanhan

alas, alack.

I should change this back to confused and loving it. Or make it confused and miserable. THE MADNESS HAS NO METHOD AS OF LATE. None at all.

If you have a possible method for my madness, please let me know in a comment? Thank you darlings.

Love from your terrible blogger because she hasn't written in forever and is a lazy butt who sleeps all day,
Hanhan

don't ever doubt

Please don't ever doubt that you're beautiful.
Don't ever doubt that you're loved.
Don't ever doubt that you're valued.
Don't ever doubt that you were made to do amazing things.

sunlight, cats, st. pat, and grapes...?

My sister has renamed my little kitties. Not something cute like sweetie or baby, oh no. Princess Pee a lot. and Fat Ferren. My sister is a five year old fairy princess who enjoys wrestling, attacking people twice her size, and hitting on my boyfriend. Yup. Good times! Also, I put the phone in the refrigerator this morning. Lord only knows why >.<

So I went outside today, and I've decided today is a good day :] Except my bike needs to be fixed. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M FINALLY STARTING TO FEEL BETTER AND NOT AWFUL. THANK HEAVEN FOR SUNLIGHT WITHOUT THE SUN TODAY I WOULD HAVE SHRIVELED UP LIKE A ROTTING GRAPE AND CRIED EVERY DAY INTO MY GRAPEY SELF. And then I'd have no friends ever again. So I'm happy for the sun.

Less books and movies, more long walks or adventures or seeing people, anything that involves more movement and happy things and I think I shall continue my path to not being a stick in the mud and a moody pain in the butt.

BTW St. Patty's day!

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Have a great Day today, don't forget to smile.  And Enjoy Spring <3

Love from hanhan :] 

P.S My nails are pale pink...not red...how strange! I love it. ALSO. My mother made greeen chocolate chip cookies <333333

7 times 70 times...

Let it go.


Whatever is bothering you, just let it go. Whoever you're holding a grudge against, let it go. If there's a chip on your shoulder, brush it off. Rather than fighting and alienating everyone and your relationships and destroying your happiness, just let it go.

Great advice right?

Unfortunately, this, like most of the things I want to be able to just do, is easier said than done. I am a generally forgiving person, and I generally let a lot of things go, or slide. But there are things, usually the dumbest, most inconsequential, little things, that just completely piss me off, and make me so angry. They ruin my mood for days, and I will hold it against you until you fix it. I will fight with you over a word slip, or even apologizing too much,

I know this is bad. I'm working on it. I've gotten a little better. But everything sucks when you're holding a grudge or fighting with someone that you absolutely adore and hate to be without. So of course, the only way to get over this is to get really angry, fight for a few days, and then pray everything straightens itself out. And watch as it does just that.

When people who have an actual regard for each other fight, people who care about each other (at least in my experience with friends and family), they will find a way to make things better. No one wants to cause a loved one pain, or make them hurt or upset. so we apologize, and grovel, do whatever it takes pretty much. Which seems pathetic in theory, but in actuality takes more strength than just holding a grudge.

So I guess what I'm saying is, Forgive and learn from the problem, and then drop it. That's more admirable and mature than stubbornly remaining upset and hurt. I'm usually really bad at this. But maybe for Lent, this could be one of my projects...hmm...God does love forgiveness....

Anyway sweethearts, this was more rambling, but I wanted to write and talk to you guys. If you want to share your thoughts on this, or a story, post a comment or send me a facebook message! I'd love to hear more from you.

lovelovelove your work-in-progress, sloth-loving, stair-climbing, rant-typing,

hanhan <3

P.S: Please pray for the people in Japan, and those who were affected by the earthquake and the tsunamis.
P.P.S: Please pray for everyone picking out a college, I'm going to miss my friends terribly.
P.P.P.S: Please pray for me. I could really use some prayers right now.

I've lately been on a mission to come to grips with a few things, like:
~I'll never understand everything and everyone
~You can't change the past
~You can't handle everything on your own
~People are not all horrible creatures who want to ruin your life forever
~You can't solve everyone's problems for them
~Your version of NORMAL is different

Yes. I'm really dramatic and pathetic. I get that I'm irritating. But lawdy lawd! There's always so much to learn and accept! You know, when I became a teenager, I was not warned it would mean so much learning and changing and growing and confusion -.-

On the bright side(because, there is ALWAYS a bright side!) The more I learn and grow the better I feel, and the better I interact with people around me. Also, i totally got to waste my morning reading Artemis Fowl <3 I think I missed a new book though, so I have to go back and read it. YAY FOR LIBRARIES. Also, you know what's been making me riock back and forth giggling like a freak? Sparklife articles. very funny. that was totally unrelated.

I love sloths. the end.

lovelovelove, hanhan :]

AHH ONE WHOLE YEAR AHHH

FIREWORKS

Why the fireworks? Well dear readers, today is my blog's birthday! I'VE KEPT THIS UP FOR ONE WHOLE YEAR! So to celebrate, there are fireworks! And joy! And lots of happy things! 

Yup, I'm immensely excited about the one year birthday of this blog <3 Thank you everyone who read my posts, and who stuck with me during this year. It was defiantly a learning year, and this blog helped me through a lot. Special thanks to Tori, who makes me write posts when I am just SO not in the mood. 

And to think this started because I wanted a place to put my pants story.(Which is not my first post on this blog, but I wrote it first :] ) 

song by Lenka because its a beauteous adorable thing

 

 

Smile <3

Love love love hanhan :]

and I've really only been awake and moving for 2 hours!

So how does one come back from a morning such as this?

My house is ridiculously noisy and everything is bothering me. I woke up to my sisters screaming at each other for half an hour. I went to shower and my towel was soaked by them. Got a new towel and the water was cold. Came downstairs and had soup and my sister took most of it. My brother's video game music has been playing for about an hour or two and its annoying. My mother made me go sit with the screaming children while she read little kid books and took up my morning. my cat scratched me. My brothers are obnoxious. Bagpipe music, not good. My mom's new computer blocker is blocking EVERYTHING. I'm in a thoroughly bad mood, and I've only been up for 2 and 1/2 hours. Yay for bad mornings!


peh.

~hanhan
(on the bright side, tomorrow is this blogs one year anniversary! woohoo!)

How much are you worth anyway?

I have to say something about self worth, and how people affect it. And about how much more you are actually worth than you think. (In my following story, I'm going to be a complete cliche, and I trust you guys not to judge me too harshly.)

When I was a freshman in high school ( which is a hugely vulnerable time in your life while you're still forming ideals and having thoughts and in which I would discourage "relation boats", as my nemesis once put them), I met a boy, blah blah blah. Over that year, and part of the next(when I actually dated him), I started to put a huge amount of my self worth in this boy's hands..err...paws? whatever. Anyway, he was, in my eyes, the only one to decided whether I was beautiful, whether I was smart, whether I was talented, pretty much whether I was worth anything. I let him dictate whether or not I was good enough, and when he cheated on me and then dumped me for another girl (over facebook, but thats beside the point), it was a huge blow.

I hate to admit it, but I was a wreck. I HATE being a cliche teenager, but this is what happened and it hurt, and this is coming from someone who doesn't really like emotions in general. I spent the year after that trying to fix myself, to figure out everything and be me again. And it was hard and it sucked a lot but it happened. I learned a lot though, from that horrible thing, and now, I actually have found people who treat me like I deserve to be treated. Do you know how you deserve to be treated?

Think this way. God made you. He planned you out from the beginning, and He loves you and values you. You, in His eyes, are precious.Since God made everything, and is King, you, as His daughter, are a princess. As a princess, you deserve a level a respect from everyone who is in your life. You are also absolutely beautiful. Because God made you, you are by default, lovely, since He who created the universe made you in HIS image. As he is the root of beauty and love and good things, you have to be beautiful.

You are entitled to, as a beautiful and amazing human being, love and respect (God can always provide both).
You are also a wonderfully beautiful creation, and if someone does not see you that way, or ceases to see you that way, remember 2 things. 1.Hey, your Daddy in heaven thinks you're great, whats the problem? and 2. There are billions of people. Find another one to talk to.

Keep your head up sugar, and keep smiling. Let God decide how much you are worth, not some silly boy who calls you pretty and doesn't remember that you hate the color orange. Please be careful with yourself, because you're the one who should be judging yourself anyway.

lovelovelove the teenage drama QUEEN (who wrote this post in a frenzied state after a longggg day),

hanhan <3

mmm....my hoodie smells good.

So. At this moment, my family was watching a movie and Justin Beiber was playing in the credits. Bad times. Also, my nails are painted purple. They also say "grape" on my left hand. I love it. I have a new shirt(<3) and a hoodie that smells absolutely fantastic (<3)I got to see some good friends today which was great, and I'm reading a good book, which makes me happy. Also, I have two poptarts to smuggle up to my room. Now I'm trying to sort out important things.

I've been having a really rough time connecting with people lately. REALLY rough. And I'm so sorry if I come off as standoffish or rude. I don't want too. I just cannot fit in right now and its getting me really frustrated and upset. I'm awkward and conversation is just not happening for some reason. Its reallly pissing me off, like more than I can explain to you. Well, If I tried I might be able too.

Okay. So, I'm not trying to be nasty. I'm just confused right now. Okay? okay.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. I've gone running two days in a row!
MONDAY: 2 miles. Chica yea.
TUESDAY: 1 1/2 +sprints.

Go me. I should run again tonight.

Love love love Hannah