Ever since I was very young, I've had this fascination with sadness. In my romanticized version of sadness, the heroines were always beautifully tearful and would have noble missions to overcome their sadness, and the men would undergo great quests with stony expressions and vows of silence or what not. It was all very poetic, an exquisite version of sadness that you really only find in storybooks. But thats what I wanted, or thought would one day happen. I would be an elusive yet beautiful being who was revered and pitied for the terrible things that happened to her, until a handsome prince would come and heal my poor broken heart, and whisk me away to a happier place. Such are the musings of over dramatic 12 year olds who read far too many books.
All the same, its this version of sadness I still picture when people tell me its okay to feel. And as much as I loved the tales of romance and tears, it never seemed to fit me. I could never wallow, or wait. As a girl who loved fairytales, and the princesses, the innocent love stories and sweet daydreams, I've become the opposite. I solve my own problems, and ignore the bad things, because they've happened, what can I do now?
This may seem like a good thing, and in some situations it is. But in real life, you can't be one extreme or the other. If you try, you'll just swing to the other extreme. Life is MESSY. it doesn't make sense. it doesn't follow an outline like Cinderella. It isn't always heartbreaking like the Little Mermaid(the original written version, not disney!), and it isn't always happy, although you may be taught to always be so. Apparently you have to just BE. You feel what you feel without apology.
And maybe what you feel seems like my tragic heroines. Thats okay too.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Be you, do you, do all things you.
"[quoting Marianne Williamson] Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
When I decided I wanted to get/make a mermaid tail, I got a ton of weird looks, and people teasing me. My best friend (jokingly, but still) my mother, my friends, family, everyone. But I still wanted to do it and I stuck with it, and made a mermaid tail. People still giggled. Next step was swimming in it. It must have been funny to watch me learn to do that, but still, I decided not to care what people said about that.
Now I started talking about the tail more, and showing it to people. Instead of people giggling at me for wanting to be a mermaid, I got a ton of messages about how cool it is from people I didn't even know, and how much they admired me for going in public with it and not caring what people thought.
Do you realize that you really could ASTONISH yourself and others if you just did what you wanted without listening to what others thought? that you could make peoples days, and inspire them to do similar things? Why do we insist on constantly doing what society deems "normal"? Is it that strange and terrifying to step out of our shells and be who we really are?
One of my favorite books is by Jerry Spinelli, its called Stargirl. This has something to do with this post because Stargirl, the main character in the book, is who we would be if we didn't limit ourselves, if we were not afraid to push away society. So I'll close with this quote, and hope that maybe one day, you can find the courage to be yourself, fully.
"She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music.
She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.
In her answers in class, she often spoke of sea horses and stars, but she did not know what a football was...
She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew."
When I decided I wanted to get/make a mermaid tail, I got a ton of weird looks, and people teasing me. My best friend (jokingly, but still) my mother, my friends, family, everyone. But I still wanted to do it and I stuck with it, and made a mermaid tail. People still giggled. Next step was swimming in it. It must have been funny to watch me learn to do that, but still, I decided not to care what people said about that.
Now I started talking about the tail more, and showing it to people. Instead of people giggling at me for wanting to be a mermaid, I got a ton of messages about how cool it is from people I didn't even know, and how much they admired me for going in public with it and not caring what people thought.
Do you realize that you really could ASTONISH yourself and others if you just did what you wanted without listening to what others thought? that you could make peoples days, and inspire them to do similar things? Why do we insist on constantly doing what society deems "normal"? Is it that strange and terrifying to step out of our shells and be who we really are?
One of my favorite books is by Jerry Spinelli, its called Stargirl. This has something to do with this post because Stargirl, the main character in the book, is who we would be if we didn't limit ourselves, if we were not afraid to push away society. So I'll close with this quote, and hope that maybe one day, you can find the courage to be yourself, fully.
"She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music.
She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.
In her answers in class, she often spoke of sea horses and stars, but she did not know what a football was...
She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew."
Monday, August 1, 2011
Beached mermaid
So today I took my tail to the beach to try it in the ocean (I couldnt swim in it in the ocean, almost got pulled out, but nbd.)
and then I sat on the beach. Little girls came up to me, and asked me about being a mermaid, parents took pictures of me, preteen boys came and asked me if I was real, and took pictures. I told everyone who asked where I got my tail I was born with it, and then, since I didn’t want to ruin the illusion for the little girls(they seriously honestly believed me) I scooted up the beach on my arms to our towels, where I slithered out of the tail underneath a blanket, and then ran off the beach. It was so awesome.
I love people.
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