TEN RULES OF LIFE MWAHAHA....yea.

1. You're always beautiful.
2. Someone always loves you.
3. You can never please everyone.
4. Thats not an excuse for being rude/mean.
5. Be with people who make you laugh, you'll live longer.
6. Don't bother with small things.
7. Enjoy nature and little things.
8. Its alright to fall apart.
9. Keep seemingly impossible hopes and dreams, no matter what.
10. Smile at everyone. 

Okay, not as good as The Five Rules of Maybe. But these are my Ten Rules of Life >.<...which if you read my blog, you've seen in most posts.

Love from hanhan :]

Five rules of maybe

The Five Rules of  Maybe

1. Respect the power of hope and possibilities. Begin with belief. Hold on to it.
2. If you know where you want to go, you're already halfway there. Know what you desire but, more importantly, why you desire it. then go.
3. Hopes and dreams and heart's desires require a clear path- get out of your own way.
4. Place hope carefully in your own hands and in the hands of others.
5. Persist if necessary.

~ Deb Caletti
Just wanted to share this with you guys. I didn't write it, but I love it.

Love from hanhan :]

The boy from the house with the purple shutters

This is the story about the boy. The one who lived in the house with the purple shutters.

Mother loved purple. She loved purple flowers, purple books, purple dresses and purple shutters.  That's why our house had them. No one else in our little town had purple shutters, and we didn't have many visitors. That was okay though, my mother had my father, and I had her. She'd read to me from her purple books, float around the house in purple dresses, paint the shutters purple and plant beautiful purple flowers in her garden. My father loved her for this, and I adored her for being my mother.

One day, my mother grew very ill, and faded into a place where no one could get her back. When this happened, my father faded as well, and I stopped talking, because the only person worth talking too was my mother, and she was gone. We buried my mother together in a purple coffin and planted purple flowers on her grave. My father and I, my mother's only child, her beloved son, lived quietly in the house with the purple shutters.

When I was 12, I took to caring for my mother's garden. I didn't like to talk much. The doctors my father had taken me too after her death to see what was wrong with me had said it was selective, I could talk when I wanted too. My father begged me and pleaded with me, but soon, he too became quiet. One day as I cared for my mother's garden, a girl walked by. I watched her walk. She seemed so happy and confident and pleased. She skipped a little bit and looked over at me. I tossed a smile at her and she threw one back. I think thats when I started to love her.

She passed me every day for a year and we smiled at each other each day. No words, just smiles. I was okay with that. One day she stopped coming by, and I didn't see her for 3 years. I still went out every day to look for her, but she never came by again. And I continued to not speak, except whisper to the flowers every once in a while.

This continued, until that day she came by again, crying. I saw her now, much older looking. She didn't smile at me. I went over to the gate, although I never had before. She stopped and saw me. I reached out a hand to her and wiped her tears. I touched her hand and spoke for the first time in years.

Story!

SO. I'm going to write a story because I want to. M suggested to me the idea for it, and if you guys would like to suggest a story idea leave me one in the comments!

Story:  Every day Jane walked past the house with the purple shutters. Every day she thought how strange it was for a house to have purple shutters. She thought it was even stranger that no one came out of the green gate that surrounded the house with purple shutters. It looked like the only person who lived there was a boy her age who no one knew anything about. 

Every day she walked past the house, and saw the boy. He watched her sometimes, and she watched him, but they never spoke. she liked to think of him as a secret alliance, because whenever she saw him, he'd give her a look that said no one could hurt her. She trusted him...but was sorry they'd never spoken. This went on for months and months. They never spoke, but she felt like they were great friends.

One day Jane stopped walking past the house with the boy and the purple shutters. She stopped caring about him as she grew up and started having what silly teenagers call a "life". She had no time for her friend the boy, whose eyes always promised to protect her. Soon after Jane got so caught up in her own "life" and things started to happen that she didn't expect.

After one of those unexpected things, she walked a different way home, a way past the house with the purple shutters and the green gate. The boy was out. He watched her cry and went over to the gate. He reached out a hand to her. She stopped walking and looked over at him He motioned for her to come over to the gate. She did, and he wiped the tears from her eyes. She smiled at him and he stretched out the hand he had just used on her tears for a handshake. For the first time since she had ever seen him, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hi"

And children? the rest, as they say, is history.

introspection and being okay with me.

So recently I've been talking to a close friend of a couple years whose gotten to know me pretty well, and he commented on how mature I was getting and how different I've become, if a positive way. My first response was what it was when I was an extremely over dramatic 13 year old," It's all and act! I'm such a mess! I just want people to see what they want!"

My friend refrained from answering for a while, and while they were thinking, so was I. In the end I retracted the comment. You know why? because I'm happy with myself now. I'm comfortable with who I am, and I'm no longer trying to please people with who I am. As weird as it felt at first, being me is the most comfortable thing I've ever done. People even seem to like me better.

I was thinking about this a little more, and I realized how much I've had to go through to get to this point. I'm not done with the journey, but I'm happier with myself now than I've ever been before, with my image, with my personality, with my friends, with my life. Things aren't always great but I've learned to deal with them. Okay. Thats what I wanted to share.

Love from hanhan :]

CCD :/

Okay, I know they're in first grade. I can be nice. I WAS nice! But you parents are slacking off and you don't even know it. Three kids asked me who God was in my class today. All of the class had no idea that God had made them. Am I the only person who sees a problem here? You leave your crying kids in a class with me and they don't know why they're here, they don't even know what they're learning! Also. I'm not your babysitter and bathroom runner so  you can have a longer break from them. Thats not okay. This is my first year and if your kid can't focus sitting still then you need to tell me that so I can do something about it. KAY. Ranting done for now. But seriosuly. Saying, "Oh what a pretty teacher you have!"? That's not going to make up for your child being a pain to all the other kids. and me.

I'm so miserable and tired and annoyed because of the first graders. That really sucked. A lot.  ON THE BRIGHT SIDE LISTEN TO THIS SONG! Click on this, it will lead you to love and joy. OOh. the links are really cool. I've never done that before. Go play with my fish. Okay. Just play with them until I come back tonight and leave you another post. Bye.

Love from hanhan :]

k cool

Dear blog. And readers. And feisty little fishies.

I've been slacking oof on you, and I'm sorry. Han's a little bit out of it the past two days, and really rather busy. BUT I'M GONNA DO BETTER! So guess what I did on Sunday like a tard >.<...I fell down the choir loft steps in heels. I got the heel stuck and whacked my ankle really hard on something that was a horrendous mix of metal and wood. Needless to say (but I will anyway), my ankle is the most lovely shade of mauve. REALLY pretty. Just kidding. Its swollen and it hurts. Wah-wah done complaining.

There've been a lack of deep thoughts lately cause I'm in one of those beautiful clouds of happy. I have something somewhat significant I forgot to share with you previously though! TWO things! First of all, and obviously most important, I have a newer and more excellent hair cut. Picture is above! Thats me working on a post for you babies <3

THE OTHER fabulous thing is that I'm getting fairies painted in my room soon. I'm so excited. OKAY BYE!

Love from hanhan :]

thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you for reassuring me that no matter what, you'll be there to listen and not judge.
Thank you for teaching me to trust.
Thank you for being there when I wanted to fall apart.
Thank you for trusting me and letting me into your life.
Thank you for your secrets, I've learned to guard them carefully.
Thank you for loving me when it felt like no one else did.
Thank you for laughing at my jokes.
Thank you for being in my life, and growing and changing with me when everyone else changed without me.
Thank you for giving me your real opinion whether or not I wanted to hear it.
Thank you for fighting with me, and making up.
Thank you for countless hours shared.
Thank you for laughter and smiles.
Thank you for your support of me, no matter how much I sucked.
Thank you for saving me from the guys that weren't good for me, and from messing up more than I did.

Thank you for being my friend.

STUPIDS

People are stupid. All of you. You put yourself through so much pain and tears and stupidity because of a person who could care less for you. You do this GLADLY. Any small sign is enough to make you ignore anyone who might actually be worth your time for some person that no matter how good, doesn't want you.

Shouldn't your first inclination be to protect yourself from them? You should only go after people who want you. Don't you think you're worth the effort? Worth wanting? I don't understand you people. I've been there, I've done that. Its ridiculous and painful and stupid which I already said.


On another note, its not a great plan to bike in front of St. John's when they're all loading up on buses. Its dangerous. Evil bus driver ladies may attempt to hit you, and there may be people you don't want to see there. Yea. GOOD P.E LESSON. In order to dodge cars one must be extremely careful and not get hit. Again, yea. Goodnight.

OKAY SO.

I keep getting a familiar feeling that I'm writing these for myself. Nobody reacts to them. Which is fine. But if you guys don't care about what I'm writing about give me a heads up. If you do like it, then comment or click a button.

Reactions all I'm asking for. Thanks!

Love from hanhan :]

memories

You know how a song, a season, a book, a smell, it can pull up a feeling from the past? One you like, one from when you were hurt, or from when you were happy. It brings memories and you can feel thme or see them, so vivid its as if they were happening again and if you close your eyes and sit still, the sensations wash over you, so clearly.

You feel the memories and you want to have it back. You want to be with those people again. You want those feelings back, because they made you happy. But things can never ever be the same. People change, life changes. It doesn't work like it once did, and no amount of wistfulness is ever going to bring it back.

I can think of exactly what was happening last year around this time. Things were changing, just like they always are. I was so excited and nervous and naive. And what was going on is something I'll never ever relive.

Relish the memories, live for today.

Love and thoughts from hanhan :]

Excuses.

"I've been through a lot, so its alright for me to react by being mean."
"My parents were mad at me so I have a right to be insulting to you because I'm mad"
"Because some things don't work out, my life is horrible and I'm dealing by *insert method*"

...Excuses. You make them, I make them, and guess what? Its not okay. Because this is life. I was thinking about this lately, and how we think we're justified to act this way. EVERYONE has problems. Not just you. And those people that we judge for their actions? Well, you're just like them.

There are tons of excuses that we can make every day. I justify yelling at my brother because I'm in "emotional pain". You justify your need to drink or smoke because you're stressed out about school. We all justify our actions without a thought to who might get hurt, because that's their problem for getting in your way when its so extremely obvious you're in a bad mood!

If you were to talk to people about what is actually going on, you'd realize that they're dealing with a lot too. They're probably even making excuses for themselves, excuses they expect you to understand. Whether or not you think their problems measure up to yours, whether or not their life sucks more, you have to accept that to them, it might be too much to even think about.

Life really sucks sometimes. Yours might be worse than most. But that is not a reason to make excuses about your actions when really, there are ALWAYS people worse off than you are, people who deal so much better with all of their problems. Which means you have no reason to lash out at yourself or others because you're stressed, upset, sad,or whatever.

This is LIFE. You can't make excuses for it. Things happen to everyone. So get over your excuses and go live.

Love from hanhan :]
P.S. I have no excuses. The way things have been going is not okay all the time, but I have no excuses for reacting and taking it out on any of you, or on myself. And I'm sorry.

Heh.

So, the poem post beneath this, Yea. That was necessary because in the guide book to being a teenage girl, you have to post at least a couple sort of whiny poems in which one line is used to complain about a boy. Really, its in there. Go look it up, I thinks its page 37. BUT I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS POEM SO THERE.

But to make up for it, I'm writing a poem for you guys:


My readers are super cool,
Cooler than a freezing pool,
They read all my stuff,
And if that weren't enough,
They like it, or think its funn-eh!

Yesterday I bought mommy a birthday present and got myself a dress, a belt, a sweater, and like two skirts, except one happened to be shorts, but Imma fix that.  AND I GOT SEASON 7 OF BUFFY VIA NETFLIX! ...This is so extremely exciting, you cannot even comprehend. T hasn't even seen season 7, and she's the one who got me into this.

The day before yesterday I got to hang out with one of the people who actually reads this, and we had a ball, watching movies, talking about books and music... good times. Then I ran a little less than two miles, down the the community beach and back, and I barely had to drag my dog.

School can't start yet. I'm bored.Which is why you get the poem, and this lovely and oh so important update you probably skimmed and now are done with. Because you don't care....SQUAWK BYE.

What if.

What if you had never told me
And I never ever knew.
About everything you'd been through,
And everything you do?

What if I had never said yes?
And we were still the same.
Our friendship still intact,
Like it was before that day.

What if you had never told me
I was perfect, made for you,
That no other girl was worth it,
And you were lying, which I knew.

What if I had never guessed
That things could get so crazed
Then we could just leave the mess
And never be caught in this maze
Of what if?

Momentous day, thoughts on self-loathing

It is indeed a momentous day darlings! "WHY?" you ask. I will tell you. Drum roll please. *badadadadadadadadadadadadadadada*

Okay, enough drum roll its annoying to type. Anyway, my momentous news is...I FOUND STOMACH MUSCLES!

THATS RIGHT. I ran like 2 miles and died from a horrendous stitch. So I stopped and went inside, after which I decided I smelled absolutely horrible ( Which you needed to know) and in between smelly shirt and the not smelly one, I noticed I had like two whole abs.

I swear. Day friggen made.

Okay. I have a thought to share with you guys today. I had this thing where I want to live up to expectations. Well, its kind of a new thing. Like a thing of this year. But then I realized I didn't want to be the person all these other people expected and thought I was. I wanted to be someone who I could admire, someone who, when I was a little kid, or even a younger me, someone that I could look up to.

So yea. I felt the need to share this with you guys today because lately I've heard about people "hating" themselves. "My grades are gonna suck, my friends suck, I'm fat, I'm not pretty, I have no friends"...These are all things that YOU have control to change, or at least to change your opinion about. These are all things I think sometimes about myself. But you have to take action, otherwise, you're just being ridiculous and lazy, and anyone with a brain will not feel sorry for you.

Go for a run! Take a walk! Join a new group! Say hello to someone random! Go shopping for different clothes, or try new makeup!(Or just accept your face and learn to love it). Do admirable things. Be yourself, version 2.0

So take action, and be someone you can admire. And celebrate the little victories, like FINDING ABS!

favorite things

Hi I'm Hannah. And this is a list of my favorite things! *Imagine me singing that like Julie Andrews*

Late night phone calls
Beautiful colors
Good books
Hot chocolate
Cats
Best friends
Trust
Ice cream
Summer
Fall clothes
Dresses
Debussy's Piano pieces<3
...EVERYTHING.

I'm done for the night blog, see you in the morning.

Love from hanhan :]

Quick summary of the past few days

"Hannah, were you a good girl?"

"Yes mommy, I didn't touch the illegal stuff"

"...I meant, did you eat your vitamins."

"Oh... yea..."

Life is always cool at my house. I'VE BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN THE DAY BEFORE YESTEDAY, YESTERDAY, AND TODAY! ...I have no deep thoughts. The day before yesterday T and I reinterpreted famous art.



Yesterday I went out with people from the town, and then a barbecue with B. Today I curled up with my cat and finished Sense and Sensibility, which I totally suggest, as well as The Off Season, which I absolutely LOVED (If you want to read the Off season, check out Dairy Queen first, I would totally suggest them to anyone, especially you ladies ;] ) Then I exploded fireworks with my neighbours, which prompted the above conversation...BYE.

Love from hanhan :]

being happy

Okay, I keep seeing/hearing about the BEST SUMMER EVER or THE WORST SUMMER EVER. There's usually one or two things that happen that tend to define these. Nobody ever says "THIS IS THE BEST LIFE EVER!". I rarely see people my age, or really any age celebrate the great parts of life because EVERYTHING is wrong. There are great, beautiful, wonderful things happening, but people don't see them because there is so much that's not as you would have planned it.

So this is the conclusion I've come to. Life isn't always perfect. Things aren't always amazing. But you CAN control how much fun you have. And you CAN take those beautiful moments and let them define you and your life, and not let the bad ones bring you down.

Its not a perfect system, its not always easy. But I think its happier. And worth a try.

OKay so I haven't done anything interesting except I started crying because my dog wouldn't let me finish the last mile on my run and pulled me inside yesterday. Emotional wrecks FTW. And today I read with my sibs, and watched youtube videos to bond. Sense and Sensibilities until babysitting later possibly with T!

Love form hanhan ;]