How To Make Every Day More Epic
- The most important part of this process is to remember that nothing is actually what it looks like to “normal people”. You must always see things for how they truly are. Examples:
- Your science teacher is actually an evil genius trying to take over the world.
- Music is actually instructions on how to make gold and apply the perfect amount of makeup in just the right way. You just have to search for the patterns.
- Little children. Forget them being cute. They're power hungry dwarves.
- Pants predict the future. True facts.
- Everything must involve a villain to vanquish. Even hanging out with friends. Villains could be, but are not limited to:
- Turtles (they look slow and steady, but they have lairs of evil in their shells)
- Science teachers(obviously)
- Math worksheets(They're like those guys that wont let you pass unless you conquer them)
- Rabbits
- Small children
- Cheese
- Create imaginary friends, or sidekicks to accompany you on your adventures. They can be:
- Short, silly hobbits, who make good food, usually potatoes.
- Tacos
- A Chinchilla
- Forest creatures
- A short friend
- A Unicorn
- While you're adventuring, its socially acceptable to talk to yourself and make long speeches about your great personal struggles. Feel free to be as poetic as possible, and whine and be heroic in equal measures. Channel your inner Harry Potter. Use appropriate faces.
- Always make up names for things. Its so much better because when you're a spy, no one will be able to decipher your expert code.
- If someone calls you strange, or weird, or asks what you're doing, growl at them. Throw your handy taco at them and run like the wind. Or become the wind. Whatever is convenient.
If you follow these rules, I promise life will be much more awesome.Also, see if you can find and decipher my hidden message. If you can, contact me. If not, cry to your unicorn friend. BYE!
No comments:
Post a Comment