Thoughts on dating as a Catholic Teen:

Okay. Here's a little background to this post. I'm Catholic(which, if you want, I'll clarify in comments). I believe in modesty, chastity, and putting my faith first. I'm 16 almost 17 and I've been dating for almost 1 1/2 years(in some form or another, it didn't start really counting until last year.

Anyway. I know a lot of parents are very against their children dating. They have rules like "not until you're 16!" "no dating until after college!" Or, as my parents joke, "No dating until you're 25!"(I set that rule myself as a 5 year old, since 25 was clearly the best number). Personally, I think these limits and rules against dating a terrible idea.

My parents used to say 16 is when I could start dating. My mother and I were always close though, and when a boy asked my to be his girlfriend when I was 14 ( seriously, no one just dates anymore!) and I said yes, she didn't break a sweat. Well, she might have, but she coped with it by being closer with me. She knew what was going on, so she trusted me. Turns out I didn't like the boy that much after a few months. But thats not the point of the story! the point is, she trusted me to let me make my own decisions and learn from them. I learned to be more particular about who I date. Another boyfriend taught me to not pretend to be someone I'm not. Another, the wrong type of guy to date and how to handle bad situations. Another, that I can't fix everyone. These seem negative, but they are not if you deal with them positively. I have learned more about myself and how to handle myself through dating than I would have otherwise. Also, dating is for discernment, for getting to find the right person, or for figuring out if marriage is your calling at all.

But darlings, this is about being a CATHOLIC teenager dating. And as a girl, do you know how hard it is to find nice catholic boys with personalities? It's basically impossible. You have to look really hard, and most of them end up going to the seminary, or being ugly( not to be shallow, but when you're 16 it kind of matters) or something ridiculous. And boys who are not nice Catholic boys? You worry whether they're going to accept you with your faith, or whether they're going to pressure you into being impure, or not understand why you can't usually hang out on Sundays. And boys, will it be really masculine for me to be at Adoration a lot? Will she still think i'm hot even though I'm an altar server? Does she expect me to be pushier? Honestly, it can be very stressful. But here's the thing guys/girls, if your faith is first in your life, the right people will find you. People who may not necessarily believe the same as you will respect your dedication. It might even be attractive to them.

Look, don't think that you HAVE to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Don't think you HAVE to even be interested right now. Don't break your parent's rules, DO discuss with them if you meet someone. The thing is, dating is great when you're a teenager. Its fun, and you learn. But never be anything but yourself. Don't feel self conscious telling your "bad boy" boyfriend that you have Mass on Sunday and can't chill. Don't tell your girlfriend that you don't actually wanna go to Adoration, but your mom is making you. Don't make your faith something to be ashamed of. Invite them to come too! My boyfriend of almost a year now is also Catholic( score!) and I go to Masses he serves at, he goes to ones I sing at. He comes to pray the rosary with my family. We go to Holy Hour at the seminary. Its okay for me to say, look, I don't want to do anything physical, and for him to say, thank God, me neither. Its okay to do whatever, because we're ourselves.

Its hard, but keep a hold on your faith. Keep a hold of your morals, and your self. Say no sometimes, be careful, have fun. Make sure you learn. Be good( your future husband will thank you for this)!Just be you. It'll all work out how God plans.