Ever since I was very young, I've had this fascination with sadness. In my romanticized version of sadness, the heroines were always beautifully tearful and would have noble missions to overcome their sadness, and the men would undergo great quests with stony expressions and vows of silence or what not. It was all very poetic, an exquisite version of sadness that you really only find in storybooks. But thats what I wanted, or thought would one day happen. I would be an elusive yet beautiful being who was revered and pitied for the terrible things that happened to her, until a handsome prince would come and heal my poor broken heart, and whisk me away to a happier place. Such are the musings of over dramatic 12 year olds who read far too many books.
All the same, its this version of sadness I still picture when people tell me its okay to feel. And as much as I loved the tales of romance and tears, it never seemed to fit me. I could never wallow, or wait. As a girl who loved fairytales, and the princesses, the innocent love stories and sweet daydreams, I've become the opposite. I solve my own problems, and ignore the bad things, because they've happened, what can I do now?
This may seem like a good thing, and in some situations it is. But in real life, you can't be one extreme or the other. If you try, you'll just swing to the other extreme. Life is MESSY. it doesn't make sense. it doesn't follow an outline like Cinderella. It isn't always heartbreaking like the Little Mermaid(the original written version, not disney!), and it isn't always happy, although you may be taught to always be so. Apparently you have to just BE. You feel what you feel without apology.
And maybe what you feel seems like my tragic heroines. Thats okay too.
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